Dialogues Regarding Nutrition.

I wanted to relay a recent email exchange a la (albeit post modernistic) Socrates or Hume on motivation, diet, and the seemingly absolutist position I take with my clients versus a more reasonable view pushed by my poor clients. Observe and see what you think?

Sarah

"Ok, about your blog. I have had some thoughts about motivating people who do not want to be motivated ... or maybe motivated in the way you feel motivated should be.

For example, I have changed my eating habits, drastically, in the past 8months and picked  up the gym stuff. Although taking some time off of alcohol would be beneficial, as well as a sticking to a strict diet would be awesome but is it about making lifestyle changes or is it about reaching a goal weight?  I’m sure I could lose my remaining 8 kilos (that’s really all I want to lose) if I stopped everything, but I would be miserable if I stopped drinking and eating. Not to say that drinking and eating are all I do for enjoyment, but I am single, go out on a lot of dates  and have a very active social life. I would much rather make long term changes to my behaviour, rather than a four week stint where I am miserable and counting down the days until I can share a bottle of wine with my friends. You know?  I could do a few weeks off, I would probably lose a few kilos, but would I gain it all back when I started living like my normal self again?  That would piss me off.

So the compromise is, working out and following your diet most of the time and still having indulgences. I look at other things, like how much my cholesterol and stuff has gone down (well the bad kind and my good kind has gone up). I know that probably sounds like crazy talk, because I freak out when I gain weight or my measurements don’t change, but I will get there eventually and have picked up some great habits along the way.

Does this make sense?"

My reply

""For example, I have changed my eating habits, drastically, in the past 8months and picked  up the gym stuff. Although taking some time off of alcohol would be beneficial, as well as a sticking to a strict diet would be awesome but is it about making lifestyle changes or is it about reaching a goal weigh?"
 

And I commend you for that, and yes the goal is to ultimately fix your habits, but the immediate goal is to reach target weight (one follows the other).

"I’m sure I could lose my remaining 8 kilos (that’s really all I want to lose) if I stopped everything, but I would be miserable if I stopped drinking and eating. Not to say that drinking and eating are all I do for enjoyment, but I am single, go out on a lot of dates  and have a very active social life. I would much rather make long term changes to my behaviour, rather than a four week stint where I am miserable and counting down the days until I can share a bottle of wine with my friends. You know?  I could do a few weeks off, I would probably lose a few kilos, but would I gain it all back when I started living like my normal self again?  That would piss me off. "

I think the larger problem here is you equate having fun with alcohol and junk food, and being miserable with the loss of both, that's a real problem. Do you really feel those things are all you have or need? Your social life doesn't need to mean eating crap and filling your body with junk, does it? I agree, it is important to focus on the long term, but I'm not sure that's how you actually feel, this feels more like confirmation bias, that you're justifying a position after the fact. You were really intense about your results, about getting them fast, made me do 2 assessments in 4 weeks, these are not the actions of someone who is taking their time. This feels a little like you wanting to simply take time off training and go partying for a few weeks, which is of course your prerogative, but it's hard for me to take your goals seriously.

"So the compromise is, working out and following your diet most of the time and still having indulgences. I look at other things, like how much my cholesterol and stuff has gone down (well the bad kind and my good kind has gone up). I know that probably sounds like crazy talk, because I freak out when I gain weight or my measurements don’t change, but I will get there eventually and have picked up some great habits along the way."

Again, great! But I don't think that's what's going on, or rather, don't think that's all that's going on. You don't get results by training some of the time, and eating junk and drinking the rest, all you'll do is stay exactly where you are, and work twice as hard. Unfortunately fat loss is a strict, horrible thing, and it requires constant diligence and hard work.

I'm not getting on your case, just trying to be honest. But ultimately it's your time, you do what you need to do, it's my job to try and make you stick to what works, ultimately it's you who decides if they want to do that.

"Does this make sense?"

Unfortunately not really, to me at least... but you've gotta do what you need to do, and I'm not going anywhere... so I'll always be there to help, anyway I can :)"

Sarah

"galub juman, not idea but everyday either. There is a compromise in this. I only really drink on Friday and Saturday, nothing in the week. It’s not balls to the walls drinking, like pre mixes and cocktails- I drink dry white wine or vodka soda water and fresh lime. I mean, the alcohol content is bad and drinking is not ideal but I’m not adding to anything with sugar syrup and juices. I don’t patricianly care what I eat, but I hate being ‘that girl’ who doesn’t want to go out to dinner because she is dieting. I order sensibly, but then again may eat a piece of bread of something.

I think there has to be some sort of balance, as you can become obsessed with weight loss and dieting and become consumed. Those girls are really annoying. No one wants to hang out with that girl.

I do have holidays booked, this year, more often than not. Part of those holidays are balls or eating at new restaurants or whatever. I guess that is what we do ... how we roll, but I am mindful.

Weight loss  is not meant to be easy, I get that. Then again, I don’t think it is supposed to be miserable. I haven’t struggled in cutting out the food that I have, with the exception of sandwiches.  There just has to be some sort of compromise. I guess that is what my point is ... yes, results won’t come as fast with a compromise, but then again if you can find that compromise it is a lot easier to maintain. Yes?"

My reply

""I think it would be a different social time for me if I were to stop eating and drinking . Really i don’t think the eating is too much of a problem ... I mean I am usually pretty good, even when I am drinking ... My big I need to eat when I am hung over is usually something like a veggie subway or something like that. I still don’t eat meat, so it’s not like I’m going all out on the food but there are occasions, I hosted a dinner party for my friends family last weekend .. .which did include a range of curries and galub juman, not idea but everyday either. There is a compromise in this. I only really drink on Friday and Saturday, nothing in the week. It’s not balls to the walls drinking, like pre mixes and cocktails- I drink dry white wine or vodka soda water and fresh lime. I mean, the alcohol content is bad and drinking is not ideal but I’m not adding to anything with sugar syrup and juices. I don’t patricularly care what I eat, but I hate being ‘that girl’ who doesn’t want to go out to dinner because she is dieting. I order sensibly, but then again may eat a piece of bread of something."

And again, I commend you, but as far as taking steps to lose the weight you want? You've really only taken the first of 10 steps, for example, I'm dieting at the moment (see here and here), I'm training 6 times a week, structuring all my meals and it's still happening slowly, I don't drink, I don't eat junk, and it's a really slow process (I'm planning on doing 6months of this). I enjoy this though, I like looking good and being healthy, that makes me happy, but it wasn't always so, I used to only eat 6 pies a day, do no exercise and drink everyday etc etc, the point is I changed the way I viewed the world, because I wanted the results. The measures and changes you're doing above are great, really. But they're nothing in the scheme of things, and you're not going to change your body type at all, unless you get drastic, even just for a short time... You can go to dinners, go clubbing, do whatever you want, without breaking the rules...

"Weight loss  is not meant to be easy, I get that. Then again, I don’t think it is supposed to be miserable. I haven’t struggled in cutting out the food that I have, with the exception of sandwiches.  There just has to be some sort of compromise. I guess that is what my point is ... yes, results won’t come as fast with a compromise, but then again if you can find that compromise it is a lot easier to maintain. Yes?"

It's not supposed to be miserable, but again, I think you're associating dieting with being miserable, which is not the way to go about it, you need to look at it as doing what you need to to get the goals you say you desire, otherwise you're just spinning your wheels.See on a dieting program, you should be looking at sandwiches as junk food, not the exception. I think, if you find a compromise all you're going to do is die by a thousand degrees (or compromises in this case). You need an objective standard (calories restriction and counting), objective guidelines (X amount of protein per day, X amount of training per week) otherwise you have no idea what you're doing and it becomes a matter of throwing everything at the problem and hoping something sticks, which is obviously silly :)"

This addresses many of the complaints the "regular" person has with training and diet, and my objections to that. I think this dialogue can be helpful to those attempting to diet, both to see you're not the only one struggling and to see what my objections to your queries may be.